October 28th. Sandy is about to come down on New York like a ton of bricks, everyone has cleared their terraces and stocked up on bottled water. Not sure why people stock up on water at the store when they can just bottle it at home with their currently functioning water supply, but whatever.

Last night we threw a Halloween party, started at 9, people more or less all arrived at the same time around 10:30. Good to know. We spent the better part of the day biting our nails waiting for guests, well before it was logical for anyone to arrive.

Josh and Carey came with Sophie around 6:30 as a peace offering between people who can stay up until 4am drinking and people who have to wake up at 4am to change a diaper. We watched Sophie eat  an entire bowl of chick peas and spinach/garlic mush, then consume an entire ear of corn. As would be expected, the lucky couple had to leave around 7:45 because an atomic bomb had apparently exploded in Sophie's pants.

After the pleasantries with the Bell's (Josh and Carrie Bell), we proceeded to get our costume situation in order. Mine was quite simple as I was Alex from a Clockwork Orange.vI just threw on my clothes and waited for Alayna to finish her makeup application. She was to be Cruella Deville and had become intent on getting all the details nailed down. Once her makeup had been applied with a surgeons precision, I stepped into the bathroom and awaited the application of my costumes final touch. The star on the tree. The cherry on the sundae. The upside down eyelash.

The experience of having someone apply eye liner, then glue, the a fake eyelash (applied with a toothpick and a cotton swap) is not unlike what you think the experience of having your eye balls clamped open and being forced to watch concentration camp footage might be like. Unlike the movie however, I did not have someone applying saline drops to my eyes whilst this was going on. Regardless, she did a wonderful job and was very patient with my squirming during the entire process.

After that, we lingered, fretted about the fact that no one had arrived at 9pm as stated on the invitation, then got over it because the wave came crashing in. All our favorite people (and some we didn't know were our favorites until later) arrived and we had ourselves a nice time.

Also, SOMEONE tried to have sex with their girlfriend in the bathroom, misfired, a red, red, candle toppled, covered everything, and I spent half my morning scrubbing that shit off with a toothbrush.

Sandy, welcome to Brooklyn.

If I become a wealthy millionaire

I will offer to pay for my nieces and nephews college education. I will pay not only their tuitions, but their meals, their clothing, and yes, their bar tabs.

IN EXCHANGE

My brother (who is apparently playing an epic mind game with me since he started proclaiming he is a rabid republican and listens to Rush Limbaugh; As a side note, he also made me sit through 2 christenings (without being asked to be the motherfucking Godfather), and also, sitting on my knees for an entire catholic mass for his lovely wedding, needs to promise me he won't brain wash his kids and let them come to their own conclusions when it comes to sex, politics and religion.

That goes for you too, Lenore, but you are already there, more or less.

-J

Come Little Leaves

Come little leaves said the wind, one day, come over the meadow and we will play, put on your jackets of red and gold, ' cause Winter is coming, and the days grow cold!

 The little leaves listened and heard the call, down they came tumbling, one, and all, Over the hill top they danced and flew Singing a nice little song they knew!

 Here is how she ended the email: " Red jackets and gold jackets from Academy Green, have been blowing like mad into my driveway, (naturally)! and I just thought you might be singing that little song. (Remember I told you that little verse was taught to your Great-Grandmother when she went to Kindergarten in Phila. --- probably about 1893).

It's that kind of winter

It’s that winter. The one you checked out how much a 2 bedroom in San Diego was going for. The one you realized your dog’s leash would make a great noose. The winter of your discontent.

I’ve been through worse weather for sure. Back at R.I.T. if the temperature climbed above 40 degrees Fahrenheit it was cause for a beach party. Literally. Some of you reading this have probably never seen snow, much less sub-zero weather. Understand, above 40 was a miracle in February, like getting 12 hours of light in Berlin (in February).

Anyway, it is the kind of winter that is upon us as I write this that pins you down and dares you to leave your apartment. Your apartment might be a prison cell in late May, but right now it is warm and fuzzy and not what mother nature is proposing you go out into. Today we were given a reprieve. The sun showed up unexpectedly warm and loving.

Hats were shoved in coat pockets, faces turned upward to catch some vitamin D, feet dancing around melting patches of ice on the sidewalk. It’s days like this when I remember why I continue to live in New York City. 2 out of 4 seasons can be rather ugly, but the other 2 seasons are served up on a silver platter.

Brain Calisthenics

November snuck up fast than a rattlesnake in a sleeping bag. I remember fantasizing about how all this life stress would be behind me some May and I would be sailing the seas of clear dolphin filled happiness come summer and yet, here I am. Daylight savings just came and went as well as any semblance of nice weather but there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Thing is, there seems to always be a light waiting for me and I think for all of us, at the end of our tunnel.

So with that, I have decided that I am going to build a lantern and not worry about that warm fuzzy promise up ahead. I've been spending too much time looking down the road instead of pointing my nose to the ground and appreciating the beauty of what's in front of me.

Last night I booked Improve 2 at the Magnet theater, Sundays 3-6. I have been neglecting my brain calisthenics for far too long.

Run in

Tonight was an interesting one. Josh and I met up for a drink and a burger in my neighborhood. That in of itself is fairly interesting because no one ever comes to brooklyn from Manhattan unless it involves a baby shower and the parties in question are related.

Anyway, we found ourselves munching on burgers and having the same conversation people who have known each other for more that 10 years have (the same one) when we were delighted by a group of old friends.  My Ex-wife's parents. Celebrating my former mother in law's 60th birthday. And they sat right next to us.

Thank the good gods of chance that my first interaction with them (whom I adore, but havent had a chance to really heal with, or speak with in a year) wasn't with my new special friend (read: girlfriend who is anxiously awaiting me signing my divorce papers). Thank the good gods that said special friend happened to have signed me up for an improv class for my birthday, and I just happened to have just come from earlier that afternoon. Thank Jehova, Jesus, Mohammed, the easter bunny, Buddha, Tony Robbins and Jack Daniels that I was able to pull off a Harold in that moment of shock.

The references to Hansel and Gretel and Lindsay Lohan were quite good.

We'll all be playing at the Magnet Theater next Thursday at midnight assuming my ex and my girlfriend dont find out.

9 days

9 days. 9 days away from each other. Apparently I am co-dependent because I was at a complete loss as to what to do with myself. Plus my 36th birthday was that week. Plus my dad had a stroke. Plus we found out that he has been having an affair because we got his cell phone while he was in the hospital and wanted to intercept calls and was pleasantly suprised (JKD) by text messages from his at that time unknown mistress.

9 days. Thank god my liver is well conditioned.